WELCOME TO THE COTTON KINGDOM
dedicated to Salman Rushdie
please send all comments to email@example.com
PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DOES ANYONE HAVE PERMISSION TO COPY OR USE THIS MATERIAL IN ANY WAY.
Welcome to the Cotton Kingdom is the story of how an Alabama biology teacher, Walker Ready, sees his town of Tustennuggee imperiled by criminal enterprise and how he brings the community together in order to convince the thugs that it is time to shape up or ship out. Cotton Kingdom reveals the squalid world which breeds a criminal populace whose only god is power, the raw power of destruction. Cotton Kingdom also shows decent Southern people stopping the decline of their civilization by ridding themselves of the demented, the wicked, and the parasitic.
It is the story of deliverance: Deliverance From Evil.
Scene 1: Walker Ready is lecturing his class on the physiology of muscle contraction.
WR: So not only is cell energy, ATP, needed for the power stroke, the myosin heads of the thick filaments also require cell energy in order to be released from the active site on the thin filament.
So what happens to the supply of ATP at death?
Student: It dry up.
WR: So what happens to the myosin heads?
S: They stuck. You a stiff.
WR: That’s correct. A corpse in rigor mortis is so stiff that one could place its head on this desk and its feet on that desk and the corpse would lay there like a board.
Trayneeka: Man, Mr. Ready, you should a seen this woman- Man, she were already ugly, but when she got stiff, she were sho nuff ugly.
WR: So you saw this?
T: Dis lady at Killer—Green. Forty years old and she were going with a teenager- They had a fight Friday night and he leave. Saturday morning, she dead.
WR: So, how did you get on the scene of the crime?
T: Man, the police take a long time to come over to Killer— Green. Folks be shooting at them.
WR: And you always go to the scene of a crime?
T: Sho. Everbody do.
Student: Hey, Trayneeka, that how ya’ll be gettin’ that new stereo.
Another student: Yeah, nigguh come through say, "She don’t need this no more."
WR: Speaking of Killer Green Housing Project. I have a problem that I’d like to discuss with this class. One of my female students complained that her stepfather was pressuring her to have sex with him. I asked if she had talked to her mother about it- She said that she told her mother, but her mother said, “Just let him have a little.”
S: So, what’s the problem?
WR: Well, I suppose technically this is a form of abuse that I should report to the state.
S: AW, don’t worry, Mr. Ready. She already got one baby by that old geek monster, and she probably don’t want nair nother one.
WR: Unbelievable. Her stepfather.
S: Hey Mr. Red, when them girls round here want money, they gots all kinds a daddies. Stepdaddy, Uncle daddy, brother daddy, Geek Monster daddy, sugar daddy
Trayneeka: Everybody at my daddy job know my momma. She pick up the check; she sign the check; she spend the check.
WR: Your father lives with you?
T: He stay with his momma.
WR: Oh, so that's how you got in Killer-Green.
Student: Trayneeka, he be cracking on you!
T: He come over, but my momma don’t pay no attention to him. I don’t listen to him- My sisters don’t listen to him. My brothers don’t listen to him.
S: I ain’t never getting married.
S: Ain’t nobody telling me what to do.
S: If I did get married, I have me a man on the side. Married but with a man on the side.
S: If my man cheat on me, I kill him.
S: Me too.
Lorenzo: Mr. Ready. You gonna teach next year?
WR: Good question, Lorenzo. It’s possible. But I see a little crack in the jailhouse door.
L: You leaving Washington?
WR: Possible but not probable.
L: You better leave or you gonna get your fat cracker butt smoked!
WR: Is that a threat, Lorenzo?
L: No man. I just telling you how it be hanging.
WR: Please, step outside my door, Lorenzo.
[Lorenzo and Ready step into the hall.]
WR: So, what gives?
L: What gives with you? You gonna quit?
WR: If thinqs work out with this new product. What have you heard about me?
L: Yo big mouf ’s ‘bout to get you shot! You joking too much, Mr. Red. I understand. What you say be the truth, but days folks think you be fronting on them.
WR: What have I done now?
L: You ain't gonna believe, Man! You 'bout to get yo white ass kilt! Dey's some folks in the community 'bout ready to come teach you a lesson you ain't never 'bout to forget.
WR: Tell it all, brother, tell it all!
L: I hook you up. Well, see, you know Antwan Wallace?
L: Well, you know you was joking with him the other day.
WR: Yes. He came to class saying he was getting rid of his slave name. Said he was named Antwan X. I suggested he call himself Monosomy X.
L: Yes, Turner Syndrome. That fits Antwan. But dat ain't the end of the story. After Antwan left your class, he went to P.E. He was shooting the rock with Doctarie and Corey, and they started janking Antwan by calling him Monosomy X.
WR: So, what's the problem?
L: Well, by the time it got back to the community, Antwan wasn't even in the story. Seems that now we got a white teacher up at Washington High who say Malcolm X a genetic disease.
WR: Oh my God! Just what I need. Shot over dising Malcolm. Wait a minute! Holy shit! Something's burning!
Student: It's Mr. Robinson's door!
L: Showl is.
WR: Where's Mr. Robinson?
S: He went downstairs to report the fire.
WR: And left his class?
L: Dat man 'flicted, Mr. Ready. Illifoamed and 'flicted. They ought to test these teachers every year. Academically and psychologically.
WR: Evacuate the building!
(End of Scene 1)
Scene 2: The night of the same day. Walker Ready is working security in front of the ticket office of the Washington High gymnasium. He is testing his new invention, the Cam-Detector Radio.
WR: (yelling loudly) No guns, no knives, no beepers, no cell phones! No guns, no knives, no beepers, no cell phones!
Man: Man, ya'll ain't opened the gate yet?
WR: And we will never will. No open admission at any time. No pass out. Now and forever more; world without end. Amen.
M: You wrong.
WR: Nair nothin' but a thang; nothin' but a chicken wang hangin' by a strang. Three dollars please.
M: Cold blooded, man.
WR: It beeze that way sometimes. By the way, what's the rule?
M: What you talkin' bout, man?
WR: No beepers.
M: Muthafuck! Now I gots to go to the car.
WR: Nothin but the world, man, nothing but the world. (yelling loudly) No guns, no knives, no beepers, no cell phones! No guns, no knives, no beepers, no cell phones! Hey, Mr. Howard, that sanctified woman is coming back.
Mr. Howard: Sho' is.
WR: Good evening, Sister Martin.
Sister Martin: I's late, but you didn't expect me to come over to this side of town without mize protection.
WR: No ma'am. I'm cautious my own self. Enjoy the coronation.
(hollering from inside the gym) That bitch! That motherfucking alley bitch! I'll put her in the hospital! That dicklicking whore is 'bout to bleed!
WR: What's going on?
Mr. H.: They done crowned ever one of them bitches. Goodness gracious! Ever one gonna be Homecoming Queen!
WR: Great Holy Moly! Adios, Howard. I'm calling it a night. Should I call West Precinct before I leave?
Mr. H.: No, Mr. Red, we can handle it. Have a good evening. Drive careful.
WR: Hey, Howard, since our CD Radio is such a sweet hit, why don't we quit this stinking job and split for the coast?
Mr. H.: Can't book,eh Ready? What's your problem? You gettin' a yellow streak?
WR: Maybe so. I get the feeling it doesn't matter anymore.
Mr. H.: Don't matter! What about the Cotton Kingdom, Ready? What about my son? What about your boy?
WR: You're right, Howard, yeah, you're right. Cotton is king.
Mr. H: Amen, Brother Ready! Cotton is King!!!!
,and one day King Cotton will rule this lousy bunch of bastards!
WR: Yeah, you're right, Howard. If we have our way.
Mr. H: We'll have our day and we'll have our way. Don't worry, Ready. The Good Lord has ordained this work and we have both sworn ourselves to this obligation: That we will truly be free one day. Free from the filth!
WR: Keep the faith, baby! See you tomorrow, Mr. Howard.
Mr.H: Drive careful, Mr. Ready.
(End of Scene 2)
Scene 3: Next morning at Washington High. Tardy bell has rung
WR: Sister Purifoy! What’s your business in the hall?
Sister Purifoy: What you mean?
WR: I mean that you are not in your session room, and that you are in the hall without a pass, and that you need to turn your jacket inside out.
[No response from Sister Purifoy]
WR: What's the rule?
Sis: What you mean?
WR: NO Bulls, No Kings, No Raiders,
[Sister Purifoy turns jacket inside out]
WR: So what are you up to?
Sis: I be fittin' to go to the library.
WR: The library, Sister Purifoy, is in this direction.
Sis: I'm on my mission work.
WR: Spreading the Golden Rule I suppose.
Sis: Yeah, do them ‘fore day do you.
WR: Well, Sister Purifoy, let me accompany you to the library. Sister Purifoy, I know just why you love the Lord Jesus Christ so much.
Sis: You do! Oh, praise the Lord!
WR: Yeah, you're so blame lazy that you never want to have to get out in the hot sun and earn an honest dollar.
Sis: HaHaHaHa! You might be right, Mr. Ready.
WR: Sister Purifoy, I'll bet that you know what’s in every book in this library.
Sis: Sho’ do. Words.
[They enter the library.]
WR: Why, it’s Sister Martin from the Conqueror's Church. Good morning, Sister Martin. I've got someone who you just have to meet. This is Patrice Purifoy.
Sister Martin: Why, Mr. Ready, I've known Patrice's grandmama all my life.
WR: Well, Sister Martin, I wonder if Patrice's grandma knows that her little granddaughter is out of class without permission on this Friday morning.
SM: Oh, Lord.
Sis: I ain’t did nothing wrong. The bell be fittin' to rang.
SM: Girl, don’t you sass your teacher.
Sis: You ain't my mama.
WR: And I wonder if Patrice's grandma knows that her little granddaughter is wearing "gangster". [Walker opens Patrice's jacket to show L.A. Kings insignia.] Sister Martin, do you think that Patrice has become fan of professional ice hockey?
SM: Not likely.
WR: I'm not sure if the "I" stands for ignorant or innocent,but "KINGS" means "K"illing "I"gnorant or "I"nnocent, the "N"—word,"G"angster-"S"tyle.
SM: Heaven forbid! Well, Mr. Ready, we're gonna put it in the Lord's hands now. Ain't that right, Patrice?
[the bell rings; Walker returns to class.]
[ End of Scene 3 ]
Scene 4: [ Walker begins first period ]
WR: Does anybody have questions about the test on plants?
Antwan: We gonna have anything on plants?
WR: We spent three weeks studying vascular plants, Antwan, so there's a good chance that you will see questions about them.
Tammeeko: You say camphor be a medicinal plant?
WR: Yes, Tammeeko, camphor "beeze" classified as a medicinal plant.
T: Man, you always trying to mess with folks.
WR: Wait a minute, Tammeeko, no need to yell.
T: Don't mess with me,white man! I'm gonna clown!
WR: Please forgive me, Tammeeko. Let's try to conjugate our verbs correctly. I mean all this "I be", "you be", "hebeshebeitbewebetheybe". Those words are not acceptable in here.
T: We don' t make fun of your old Tustennuggee talk.
WR: Sure, I have an accent, but I try to use the language correctly. I'm talking about the standards of our society. These are conventions we need to practice in the classroom.
T: Well, "camphor be" sound good to me.
WR: Tammeeko, let me remind you. This is a public school, not a public housing project.
Student: Whoa, Catfish! He be crackin' on you!
Student: Yo' greazy grandmammy dipping that snuff; scratchin’ that itch; rockin' on the front porch down in Hale County smellin’ like ammonia...
WR: Stop! No dozens. Now let’s get started. Let me look up camphor in my Manual of the Vascular Flora of the Carolinas. Hmmm. The species that I'm familiar with is found in marshes and barrier islands on the Gulf, however, Pluchea camphorata is found right here on our campus.
Student: Let's go out and find some.
WR: It will be very easy to find.
Student: Mr. Red, why don’t you ever take us outside so we can see some of this stuff?
WR: Willie, since coming to Washington High, I have collected and identified over 50 species of plants on this campus, but you'll have to find them on your own because I will never take any of you anywhere.
Student: Why can't we go on a nature walk on campus?
WR: Oh, it truly sounds like a fantastic idea. This hill and
bottom represent a model for a lot of the Wekiwahatchee's watershed, so there's plenty to learn from a walk on our campus, but we’re staying in this classroom.
Student: How come?
WR: Because there are no rocks to throw in this classroom. To venture outside this classroom would be an invitation to disaster.
Tammeeko: Back to camphor. Is that the same camphor that be in Camphophenique?
WR: It’s probably similar.
T: Can you get herpes from eating a girl out?
WR: Tammeeko, you are in a category all by yourself.
T: Onliest reason you mad is cause you white.
WR: White? Is that it? Common human decency is white? I didn't know decency discriminated.
T: Decency might not discriminate, but you sho' do, you racist
Ku Klux redneck!
WR: Why do you say that?
T: What fo' you got a map of Afika wid a skull on it?
WR: It’s an editorial cartoon from the Tustennuggee News. One of my interests is tropical diseases and, at present, Africa is infested with many horrible, yet preventable diseases.
T: Cause the white man’s trying to destroy everything the black man’s built up.
WR: Like what?
T: Like civilization. You stupid cracker! Like Egypt; Nefertiti—the most beautiful woman, an Afikan woman. Like King Tut and all the pharaohs.
WR: You think that your ancestors were the ancient Egyptians?
T: Sho’ do. Dey built the pyramids.
WR: They may have built the pyramids, but they did it under constant adult supervision. Tammeeko, where did you learn so much about Egyptology? A Michael Jackson video?
T: Always trying to tear the black man down. Honky, the blood of the pharaohs flow through my veins.
WR: Do me a favor, Tammeeko.
T: What’s that?
WR: Go to the library and find me some information about a mummy entombed in a royal sarcophagus that has a wide nose, thick lips, and kinky hair.
T: I'm gonna get my momma down here on you.
WR: Just what I need. More mad mothers. Go ahead and find your daddy while you're at it. I'll tell both of them about what they’ve raised.
Student: Mr. Ready, I hate to interrupt this important discussion but I have a question concerning the material which will be on the test tomorrow. How do you distinguish between a male crayfish and a female crayfish?
WR: The males have naturals but the females straighten theirs.
T: Man! You always trying to be funny.
[Class bell rings]
WR: Remember people, six weeks test tomorrow!
[END OF SCENE 4]
Scene 5: Walker walks the halls during his second period preparation.
WR: So, why are there six police cars over at the junior college?
WR: What do you mean,"nothing"?
N: I mean "nothing". Now SWAT team. That‘s something! You see them black uniforms and, man, you know some nigguh is about to get kilt!
WR: So, whats happening?
N: My homie caught a bullet in the head Saturday night.
WR: Up the hill?
N: Yes. He in the hospital. Lost one eye and brain dead.
WR: Is he at Killer-Green?
N: No, man! We got money. He at University.
WR: Who did it?
N: Security guard from Club Panther. 9 millimeter. Man! We was unarmed!
N: Yeah. we throwed the guns out of the car after we aired out Club Panther. We was parked up the hill. We didn't think nobody was gonna come after us.
WR: Napoleon, I think you’ve been sniffing too much of that Jerry Curl Activator.
N: But really Mr. Ready, how come bugs like Jerry Curl?
WR: Maybe it's a new form of flypaper.
N: It’s the activator, yeah, the activator.
WR: Probably so. Take care, Napoleon. I'll talk at you later.
N: Wait, Mr. Red, I need to ask you something.
WR: Go ahead.
N: Mr. Ready, how many degrees you got?
WR: I have a B.S. and an MA. Last week I was accepted into the doctoral program at Wekiwahatchee State.
N: How many Masonic degrees?
WR: I don't know what you're talking about?
N: You be knowing what I talking about. Sho' do.
WR: Have a good weekend Napoleon. Take care.
N: You too.
[Walker walks down to the library]
Don Early: Hey, Ready, want to talk to you. First period I
threatened Patrice Purifoy with Sister Martin’s prayer group, and she came under my control..
WR: I like Patrice. I know we can turn her around.
DE: Hey, Ready. Got one for you.
WR: Hit me.
DE: What bonus question gets the shortest answer on the six
DE: What books are you planning to read during the summer vacation?
WR: I know the answer: "How To Kill a Mockingbird."
DE: Right. Hey, check it out. We’re just in time for the
prayer meeting in the computer room.
WR: They don't have a student in there, do they?
DE: No. Dey be exorcising dem 'puters.
Sister Martin: Oh Lord! Good Shepherd, help me, Regina Martin, Lord Jesus Christ conquer this demon, oh Lord, Good Shepherd, help me, Regina Martin- St. Patrick, drive away these devils from me, Regina Martin. St. James, protect my body from accident. Oh Lord, Good Shepherd, help me, Regina Martin. St. John, let all of my bad spells and troubles go from the sunrise and the sun setting. Give me good luck and help me to be successful. Oh Lord, Good Shepherd, help me, Regina Martin. St. Michael, conquer this demon, oh, oh, oh, habba, dobba, doobodooba, yabbadabbadobabba, ooohuuuhhaaaaahhhhh
WR: That’s that demon coming out. I hope she gets rid of that
son of a bitch.
Student: Mr. Red, you won’t do. You ought to be 'shamed of your bad self.
Trudy Tartt: Excuse me. In Tammeeko Rice’s momma. Tammeeko call me just a while ago. I need to speak to you ‘bout Tammeeko.
WR: Nice to meet you. My name is Walker Ready.
WR: And yours?
TT: Oh, I'm Trudy Tartt.
WR: Well, Ms. Tartt, there’s no way that Tammeeko is working up to her full potential in my class.
TT: I realize that since Janyary my daughter’s achievement have been reclining.
WR: Ms. Tartt, that’s a little optimistic. Tammeeko has achieved very little, if anything in biology.
TT: I had problems wid bilology when I wents to Washington.
WR: You graduated from Washington?
TT: No, I didn’t walk. I hads to drop out cause I hads Tammeeko. I wish I hads gradgiated. I could a used that diplooma. But I gots by G.O.D. degree.
WR: You got your G.E.D. at Washington State?
TT: Yeah, over to the junior college.
WR: Well, Ms. Tartt, you understand the value of an education.
TT: Sho’ do. That’s why I wants my daughter to get her lessons.
WR: I think that the first thing Tammeeko needs to do is get to school on time.
TT: That’s my fault. The state done took my driver’s license and all I got now is a IUD.
WR: Tammeeko needs to make better arrangements. She also has some other things that she needs to work on.
TT: She told me something 'bout that, but I don't know whether to believe Tammeeko or not.
WR: Ma’am, if you believe your daughter, you are very much mistaken.
TT: All I knows is ya’ll got to keep that chile in school!
WR: If Tammeeko continues keeping bad company, she won't stay here very long.
TT: I don’t care who that girl hangs out with long as she don’t be getting me in trouble.
WR: I understand, Ms. Tartt. I appreciate you coming by and checking up on Tammeeko.
TT: Just do one thing for me, Mr. Ready. Keep that gal in this school. Please! I can’t stand to have that gal a hanging ‘round the house all damn day long!
WR: I’ll call you if she gets out of hand.
TT: I appreciate it, Mr. Ready. I sho’ do.
WR: See you later, Ms. Tartt.
TT: You got to help me keep her in school, Mr. Ready. We can’t afford to lose any of our check. You understand.
WR: I understand. Take care, Ms. Tartt.
[Walker continues on his way down the hall.]
Patrice Purifoy: You off my list!
WR: What'd I do, Sister Purifoy?
PP: Putting them sanctified bunch on me.
WR: Why Sister Purifoy! You can keep the Bible out of the school, but you can’t keep God’s disciples out.
PP: Yeah, we got lots of disciples.
WR: Sure do.
PP: Well, I’m gonna miss ya.
WR: I’m not planning on going anywhere. Are you going somewhere?
PP: Heaven! Hahahahahahahahaha!
WR: Later, Sister Purifoy.
PP: Hey, Mr. Red, when we gonna digest a frog?
WR: We may dissect one in about a week. That reminds me, isn't Hill Street near Nixon’s Ditch?
PP: Sho. I stay right crossed from it.
WR: Why don’t you catch me a frog or some tadpoles for extra credit.
PP: I been crossed Nixon’s Ditch, but I hadn’t been caught no tadpoles. Nor nair frog neither. 'Sides they’s snakes in that ditch.
WR: Never mind. Have a safe weekend.
PP: I will, Mr. Ready.
WR: And stay off the street corners and out of those deadend clubs!
PP: I sho’ will, Mt. Ready, I sho’ will.
[Walker continues down the hall)
WR: Excuse me. Are you a student here at Washington?
Trespasser: No. I just dropped somebody off.
WR: Well, you need to check into our office and get a visitor's pass before you come on our hall.
T: Our hall? Man, I went to this place ten years before you ever thought of it. What you hassling me for?
WR: Pardon me, but I feel that I greeted you courteously, yet you are yelling at me. Now that’s not being nice, is it?
T: Get out of my face!
WR: Why don’t you come with me and we'll see if we can find out exactly what your business at Washington High is all about.
[At this point, the trespasser begins running down the hall spilling bullets out of his pockets with each stride. As he turns to exit the building, he shoots Walker Ready.]
Student: Murder! Murder! Mr. Ready murdered! Murder! Murder!
WR: Calm down. Stop hollering. I’m hurt but not dead. Yet.
Teacher: Call an ammalance. Who did it?
WR: Trespasser. I taped him on my CD Radio.
T: Ain’t no blood. How come dey no blood?
WR: I’m wearing bulletproof underwear.
T: It ain’t bulky like Kevlar.
WR: It’s woven from spider web.
T: Whoa! That take a whole lots of spiders.
WR: No spiders. Made by genetically engineered bacteria. I’m testing it for the company that invented.
T: How much it cost?
WR: I don’t know.
T: Whatever it cost, I know that it’s worth ever penny of it. I wonder if I could get a set with pupil supply money?
WR: Don’t know. You’ll have to ask the principal.
T: You mean the Community Relations Coordinator?
WR: Yes. The CRC. I’m a little rusty on the new terminology.
[Paramedics arrive to take Walker away]
WR: Tell the CRC that I'll have my videotape of the perp at the hospital. And tell her I'll get her an incident report on Monday.
T: I sho' will.
[end of Scene 5]
Walker Ready: Today we are reviewing the material we studied about human reproduction.
Tammeeko: I know all about sex education.
WR: Well, this isn’t exactly sex education. We are not studying human sexual behavior. We are studying conception, gestation and birth.
T: Why can’t I teach the class sex education?
WR: What do you want to teach the class about sex education, Tammeeko?
T: Firs' thing, you got to put the dick in the hole!
WR: Stop. Please stop, uh, step outside [clears throat].
WR: I have your discipline form filled out in duplicate. Let me sign it and date it.
T: You wrong!
WR: Happy l6th birthday, Tammeeko.
[Hands Tammeeko discipline form. Classroom erupts with cheering.]
Student: You think she’s gone, Mr. Red?
WR: It is my understanding that she's heading for the Pratt Center or out the door.
Student #2: Thank the Lord! She alley.
Student #3:That girl's so alley; she back alley.
Student: Yeah. Tammeeko gonna fill Hell up!
WR: Let’s continue- On which days of the female’s menstrual cycle is fertilization likely to take place?
Student: Not likely during the day. Probably Friday or Saturday night.
WR: [covers mouth with hand] Hahahahahahaha!
Student: You can't write me up cause you laughing too.
WR: O.K., O.K. So, where does fertilization take place?
Student: Oh, most likely back seat! Motel room!
WR: [student laughter] I give up. Turn to page 444 and answer the questions.
[end of scene 6]
Troy: You ain’t my momma and this ain’t my momma's house, and nobody be telling me what to do! ‘Sides, how we gonna use history in the real world?
WR: Natural history? All of the resources, limestone. dolomite, brown ore, red ore, bituminous coal, methane, and bauxite, are the reason Tustennuggee exists.
T: Not that history- I mean social studies history. All them dates and menziz.
WR: Your ignorance,Troy, is so profound that you never need to ask the question, “Why?” You shouldn’t have to learn everything——just learn something! Anything!
Maraisha: I’ll tell you what you can do, Mr. Ready- Show Troy that there’s more to life than government housing, food stamps, welfare children, and the penitentiary. Show Troy that there’s something beyond West Tustennuggee and Washington High.
Troy: Yeah, what’s the big B little B stuff got to do with getting a job?
WR: Where do most people in Tustennuggee work?
WR: That’s right, they work in the hospitals. Go down to north Florida and see what kind of reputation Tustennuggee has. This is where people come to get their healing.Tustennuggee helps people get well. We’re studying simple Mendelian genetics. This work introduces you to the most important pursuit of medical research: the control of life.
T: I ain’t gonna work in no hospital. None of them. Not nair one of ‘em.
WR: Work? Troy, is it possible that you would work and cheerfully serve your fellow man?
T: I ain’t slaving for nobody.
WR: What’s wrong, Troy? Afraid you’re going to stroke out by using your brain today,eh? Hope you don't bust a gut. Why don't you pick up a pencil while your at it, or are you afraid that you’ll dislocate your shoulder?
T: I'm doing my work.
WR: Yes. Today you are doing your work. And today you also plan to disrupt my classroom. Well, I won't allow it. Troy, you will never forget the 170 days you have spent in here, and one day you will be pushing a shovel or a mop or a hoe or a hammer or a broom, and you will remember how rough it was in this air conditioned classroom when Mr. Ready wanted you to shut up and go to work.
T: Man, this is a black school, but it’s like a white school. It's got white rules.
WR: White rules! Holy cow! What can I do to change your attitude, Troy?
T: How come you talk so low when you mad?
WR: Troy, I do my best to act as a professional.
Student: Yeah, Troy. Let the man work!
T: He be going too fast. Strain my brain. He be putting pressure on my head. One day I’m gonna snap. Go home. Get something,come back up to this school and break that cracker off.
[Bell rings. Class 1eaves. End of Scene 7]
WR: Hey, why don't ya'll just chill?
Class: Whoa! Yeah! All right!
WR: That's all that I have for you today. I’ll check out colored pencils. Work on the Genetic Geography Sheet.
Cynthia: I don’t want the words “DNA fingerprinting" to ever pass through my lips again. I am sick of O.J. Simpson! Couldn’t see my stories all summer. What's the big deal? I know nigguhs that killed lots more than two folks!
Other Student: Sho' have.
WR: Well, the murderers you know don't have a Heisman Trophy sitting in their 1iving room or earn their living with national television contracts.
Tamisha: Mr. Red, you look tired.
WR: Yeah, I'm beat. Sinuses acting up.
Chris: Sinuses,my fanny.
You hung over. Big old tomato face. Last night you was broke down! I mean broke down loaded!
WR: I'm not admitting to that, but I will
remind you that this job does cause one to enjoy clinking a few ice cubes together.
Tamika: I bet you do. These alley young'uns drive anybody crazy. Ain't got no home training.
Chris: Hey, Mr. Red, lunch bell fixing to ring.
WR: O.K., O.K.
Chris: Hey man. Do your rap MacDaddy. Rap, MacDaddy Red! Hey, Daddy Mac, do yo' rap!
WR: That’s MDK, chump- Mac Daddy Kool
with the Funky Munch Bunch!
T: Man! Do your rap. Bell be fixing to ring.
WR: I’m Mac Daddy Kool with the Funky
And I like school cause I love my lunch!
Cornbread and blackeyed peas
Hot sauce and a pot of greens
Pork chops seasoned to please
Home grown tomatoes
And sweet iced tea
Why must I be like that?
Why must I
chase the snack?
Nothing but the dog in me
Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yea!
Bow wow yippee yo yippee yea.
Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yea!
Bow wow yippee yo yippee yea!
On Friday I get my pay,
On Saturday I go out to play.
I leave my crib up on Firetower Hill
And go see my cousins down in Aliceville
They got cornbread and blackeyed peas,
Hot sauce and a pot of greens....
Student: Man, that’s so weak, you trying to be black? Copying black music? Eating soul food?
WR: Naw, homey. It’s a cracker thing.
You wouldn’t understand.
[end of Scene 8]
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